oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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