He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Randomize
