Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
So vagazzling was a success
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Randomize
