therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Randomize