How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
areolas are like halos for boobs.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
