Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
