Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
