dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Everyone says I win the strip club
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
