i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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