Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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