I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Randomize
