You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
If I die, sorry about rent.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
