i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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