There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
