It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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