you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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