She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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