I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
