She went from zero to smokin in five shots
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
