FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
