Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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