Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
