i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
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