Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize