I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
