so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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