There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
