Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
my being single is dangerous.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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