We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
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