You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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