the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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