It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
