sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
