Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
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