Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
