Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize