i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Randomize
