after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I just had sex on a roof
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
