Its about making memories worth repressing
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize