When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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