i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
