Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Randomize
