i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
i drank out of a bidet.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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