just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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