We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
