I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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