You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
