people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I intend to get homeless drunk
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
