we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Randomize
