i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Every concussion has its silver lining
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
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