so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
