im drinking this country out of the recession.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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