She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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