When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
