This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
