Someone shit on the floor
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Randomize
