she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
