The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
