i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
