True but thats because hes a fetus.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
