"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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