Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
No stitches, just platelets and will power
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
