Quick, to the slutcave!
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
