Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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