I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
not ubering you a puppy
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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