I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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