So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
