I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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