I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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