We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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