He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
