I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
