we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
