The maid of honor just puked.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize