? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
that is very illegal...i love you.
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