haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
