Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
