she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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