So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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