So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
