I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
