I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I just blew my weed a kiss
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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