super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
