Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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