ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
