She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
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