Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
