Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
