i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize